It's days like this when I look back on all that advice my dad would try to give me when I was at my most "rebellious" as my mom would say. See, pops used to chew my ass out so much for flying by the seat of my pants through life. I know now he wonder where I got the undying optimism and confidence all the bull shit I've had to endure since the turn of the century. Still though, he's always the one to remind me that the shit will always inevitably hit the fan, and when it does those that have your back and those who think you ain't shit will reveal themselves. I'm paraphrasing obviously. If I could compile all that advise and those tough love lectures, and put them in a book, I'd have a New York Times Best Seller wouldn't I? Must Be Nice 4: Shooting the Bobo.
My dad is a product of those old school type of parents that don't exist in this world anymore, and his mom is the one that raised me. Looking back now on all the shit my grandmother put up with from me, it's quite astonishing. I mean, I marvel now at how I never saw her shook, never saw her afraid, or worried, even in the face of certain calamities, even in the face of death she never blinked once. And now my dad has those qualities, yet I get looked at sideways when I try to display those very same qualities.
I'm sure you'll see this Dad, so, "You were right and are always right....for the most part, anyways," if that even means anything to you now. And I can't express how good it feels to know if or when you are ever proud of what I am, what I have become, what I've made for myself, but as you say, even that ain't shit. Hell, I never had someone tell me so often that I ain't shit, but that's what a man need from his father sometimes. I'll never resent you for that.
It's days like this I wish God would send Roberta Peay back down here to sit with me for like 15 minutes, so I can look in her eyes, see here smile, and here some much needed words of encouragement. No worries. Now's not the time to bitch up. I don't plan on folding because, quite simply don't know how to do that, how to be so negative about everything all the time. That just ain't me. I wasn't bred or raised to be that way. That's me....